Everytime i here the word .....?

well my family member who ped on had been d.. yet i only found out 3 weeks ago or 4. and when people joke on and say "ima yeww hehe :)" or say "DUDEEEE I WAS DDD BY MY FRIEND HAHA" well no matter what wayyy or anything just when the word is mentioned i dont find it funny and all i can think of is my nana? is thiss a bad thing or anything? couse i never joke on about ..? i cant help but think of her when they do :/ and i do get sad and down all the time about it :/ what can i do????